Feeling a bit ‘agro’
May 30th, 2008
This is an ‘agro cheque’ (click on it to enlarge). It looks like it has been printed on ordinary office paper and it feels like it too!
Zanu PF’s PR skills reached new heights with this one. In Zimbabwe, if someone says ‘That person was agro’, they are actually saying, ‘That person was very very angry’. So Zanu PF has given us a new ‘currency’ note that captures the mood of the country and our views of them perfectly. Most people are feeling fairly ‘agro’ about the new cheques and about the state of our economy.
You can imagine the conversations going on whenever people hand an ‘agro-cheque’ to someone else:
“How much agro are you asking me to give for that?” or “Whaaaat? It costs HOW much?! I am going to have to give you some agro for that!”.
Inevitably, transactions go hand in hand with – at the very least – a knowing scornful look about the note and the party that gave them to us, but more frequently they get handed over with comment about the need for change and how ‘agro’ we are feeling that day.
Maybe this isn’t as politically inept as it seems. One could also argue that they are perfectly named and reflect the attitude and character of the government that created them – the ‘agro’ government, filled with ‘agro’ people who rule with aggression and fear and violence. Mugabe is proud of his thuggish-basher-bruiser image so maybe he gets a small sense of pride everytime he sees this Monopoly money.
Either way, I honestly can’t see how this currency does the government any good at all. They are a complete campaign gift to the MDC.
‘Agro’ feelings are forcast to grow over the next few weeks: my edition of zwnews today had news that inflation has hit a whopping 1,700,000%, and it is apparently forecast to hit between 1,800,000% and 2,000,000% by the end of this month. I wonder how soon it will be before the ‘agro’ government needs to print off a few more ‘agro’ cheques in bigger denominations so we can feed our increasingly ‘agro’ feelings towards them?
May inflation rose by 961 396 percentage points from the April figure of 732 604% to 1 694 000%. The 1 694 000% was for the CSO’s inflation computations for the period from May 1 to May 23.
Violence is not going to dent our growing lack of respect for a government rudely clinging onto power and dragging an entire nation down with it.
Do you remember our post on ‘Defiant humour‘? I thought you’d like to see a copy of the Zanu PF Campaign advert that appeared in a local newspaper and inspired the joke. Both the advert and the joke are below. Click here to enlarge the advert, and here to enlarge the mocked-up (pun intended) version.
May 31st, 2008 00:01
Monopoly money looks better than that!
By the way, the poster does cheer me up. All the ‘agro’ isn’t good for my bloodpressure.
May 31st, 2008 06:37
Hilarious! A major gaffe by Dr Gono and cronies. I just printed one from the image and put it in a frame on my desk, to remind me how stupid people can be, when they start to panic.
I wonder if the font is big enough for Mugabe though. He may not be able to count his money properly with some of that small print on those bills.
May 31st, 2008 10:41
Now, now, now. Calm down. Of course it looks ridiculous. But face it: right now it’s probably not even worth $5 (real dollars) and by next week-end it will be down to 50 cents. You wouldn’t want to throw good paper after bad money, would you, now?
I have a suggestion. This is a mighty fine suggestion and I do hope that it will earn me Dr Gideon Gono’s position.
Why bother printing new notes?
On D-Day, issue every one with a felt-tip pen and these instructions for use:
“From now on, write one extra nought on all your bearer’s cheques every Sunday morning.”
See? No more paper wasted! No more crippling printing costs!
Fraud is impossible: all you have to do is count how many noughts have been added since D-Day. More than the weeks which have elapsed? There’s a cheat!
I do sincerely hope that your wise president will see the brilliance of my scheme and reward me with Dr Gono’s job, his mansion, his armour-plated cars and, last but not least, his accounts in Switzerland, the Cayman Islands and elsewhere.
Thank you for your support.
May 31st, 2008 16:06
I’d vote for you, financial wizard! Great suggestion!
(I am amazed at you guys managing to keep your humour going…)
June 1st, 2008 22:02
@ Financial Wizard -
Why play into Mugabe’s hands by suggesting a way out of the situation? This is one problem that is impervious to his usual strong-arm tactics. The new species of Agro notes, for example, (Top denomination of Z$50bn now equal the notorious Weimar republic’s highest notes of 1924.
In fact, as the Run-off comes closer the rate at which they print money will not even be fast enough to pay for the election infrastucture as well as the thousands of militia members to subjugate the voters. This will be the endgame, and as Anon 16 points out elsewhere, the army will be the first to say the money is valueless to them and they don’t want it. This will spread to the intelligence and police officers, and you will reach a situation where the JOC have no more control or anyone to command. The Mugabe apparatus is actually committing regime change on itself.
June 2nd, 2008 14:12
True Grit,
I heartily agree with you!
My scheme would never, ever, earn me good Dr Gono’s job.
Why? Because it would preserve the value of money, no matter how many noughts you add.
Mugabe can easily yield to the teachers’ hundred-billion pay claim, it’s all funny money: today’s hundred billion (US$100 or so) will be US$10 tomorrow. With my scheme… well, it would all fall down to pieces, since yesterday’s $1.000.000 would still be worth today’s $10.000.000
Oh dear, I won’t get good Dr Gono’s mansion, and armour-plated cars, and …. *sigh*
True Grit, thou hast broken my heart!
June 2nd, 2008 15:27
@ Financial Wizard -
Lol!