Street rates
August 2nd, 2008
Last week I had the onerous task to go and get a copy of a death certificate for a relative who died many years ago. So, off I went to the registry office, equipped with a book in hand to ensure I had something to keep me from going into meltdown. The office is dark and dingy, smelly and manned by a group of disgruntled civil servants whose motivation to assist the public is equal to their paltry pay.
When I was finally served by a very officious bored woman, I was told to fill in a form and bring it back with $200. Mind you, this was not meant to be $200 new money (as per yesterday), but old money – in new money terms (10 zeroes lopped off) this would now convert to about 0,0000002c (I think!)
I explained that I did not have any $200 notes, and that I had got rid of them a long time ago because the weight was not worth carrying them around in my purse. I asked instead if I could get change for a $5 billion note.
Officiously, she said she could not supply change. But by now I just wanted to get out so I told her not to worry, she could keep the change.
“Absolutely not”, the woman said indignantly, “that would be seen to be a bribe and I could lose my job!”
She advised me instead to go outside where I would find, seated on the pavement, a man who could help me.
Off I went, and lo and behold I found the very man seated at a small table outside the government building with a great big wad of old $100 notes. When I approached him he very cheerfully sold me the 2 notes I needed… but they cost me $5 billion !
August 2nd, 2008 19:16
Oh! The modulation! the frustration! the syncopation! the jazzification! The Money Street Blues.
August 2nd, 2008 23:24
And life goes on. What a waste. the whole world needs an international school of economics in Zimbabwe. To confuse us all. That’s the trump card.
August 4th, 2008 15:15
I’m sorry for your loss…. but I laughed when you got to the part about the old man.
What popped into my head was “Free Enterprise!” and then wondered how long that man had made a living providing a public service.
We have many people on unemployment and welfare and the dole here in the US. Seeing someone clever enough to make a job for himself like that brought a smile to my face.
Although I imagine that ‘clever’ is a key trait for everyone who’s struggling to survive in Zimbabwe.
August 5th, 2008 21:38
Some nonsense:
When I was a child I asked my father if it was possible to buy money.
He looked at me amazed and I regreted asking the question. What followed was a chain of descriptions of my stupidity, lack of reasoning and that I definitely took after my maternal lineage.
I was baffled by this and never forgot those statements. Then came independence in 1980 and some shopping in neighbouring Botswana.
My own father gave me 50 zim dollars for which I bought travellers cheques worth 120 pula. This time I did not ask the stupid question or prove the possibilty of buying money.
Then came a new name for such money, used only in Zimbabwe, ‘forex’
I thank mambo robert for opening my eyes to the blinding and confusing possiblity of how money can be used to buy, unbuy, confuse, enrich and pain the ordinary man trying to sustain their savings.