Letter to a Zimbabwean Agony Aunt

Hullo Tete

I have a problem and ndovimba kuti muchandibatsira ne nyaya iyi. I am a car thief and dealer in Mbare, who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of the HIV virus. My parents live in Mufakose and one of my sisters, who lives in Mabvuku, is married to a gold smuggler.

My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes at the Elizabeth Hotel. I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non parole life sentence at Chikurubi and my other brother is currently at Remand Prison awaiting his sentence.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Highfield.

All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiancé very much and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.

Should I tell her about my cousin who is a Zanu PF MP?

Yours sincerely
Agonised

This joke is doing the rounds on email today - or maybe it has been doing the rounds for a while and has only just hit my cyber-circle. It did make me laugh! But as well as being funny, it clearly shows that Zimbabweans are fully aware of how bad life is in Zimbabwe and the desperate lengths that people have to go to just to survive. It also shows that Zimbabweans know who is responsible for all of it. Zimbabweans have always had the ability to find humour in the darkest of times, a quality that is endearing and makes me so proud, but also leaves me wondering if perhaps that’s how we have endured so much, for too long…? You can understand why mugabe passes laws like the one that makes it a crime to ridicule the president; namely, because when a person can poke fun, they stop being afraid.

Technorati Tags: Zimbabwe, humour, joke, agony aunt, zanu pf

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